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THE RECYCLED PIRATE

(Re)Creator of life | Rebel by cause

Month

October 2016

The Yoga and I. We are alive.

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Yoga… Who would’ve thought…

I haven’t skipped my morning routine for almost two years.

Breathe, stretch, gentle pull, relief, smile. Wow!

During my recovery I needed to re-learn to breathe to deal with my constant pains, to do deeper stretches. To gain strength during (body)weight training. To do this I had to let go of fears, embrace the “good” pains and find a balance. The harmony, as I learned later in my progress. I had no clue, something so basic, so natural would be so powerful. Everything I am capable of, is because I breathe. I breathe deep.

This path has brought me, to me. My inner balance. My inner strength. My inner believe. Yoga is not doing the most impossible postures, Yoga is becoming one with your surroundings. A harmony with acceptance of what is and what’s not and what will come to be.

 

Nobody can offend me, hurt me or touch me unless I let it happen. Nobody can make me happy, create a smile or make a success of my day unless I, make, or let it happen.

I’m in balance to accept the bad and rule the good.

I’ve started my days the last years with yoga every morning without skipping a day. I don’t need much, sometimes when I need to push it a bit, ten minutes will suffice, for I spend time on me. It’s a high-end investment with simple needs, air and a calm me.

I feel my body and stretch my mind (It’s also my meditation.) Most days it’s 20 minutes and on good days more. I don’t keep a timer, I don’t count moves. It is every breath.
To be so in tune with myself to allow myself to wake in such powerful way, is the best gift I’ve given myself. So I switched it up a notch when my mat started to leave trails of foam around the house. Purple flakes of my mat, everywhere I walked. In October 2015 I bought the Manduka Pro Graphite 85 inch /215.9 cm Yoga mat. And I’ve been in love with a rubber mat since. I cherish it with every touch. As soon as I align my feet on the mat I’m in my zone.

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It inspired my favorite work so far as I wanted to build a night altar where I could find rest and knowledge for my busy mind. With the Yin Yang and , came the Hamsa, also known as the Hamesh or the hand of Fatima. It symbolises protection and for me, mostly, protection for knowledge and growing into that person that will grow more beautiful with every lesson learned. Taking the best and most wise with me. My way to brighten my world, protect my love and share my knowledge as a survivor. A creator. I’m not a floater, nor a dreamer.

I live in the here and now and live for a better life that can be shared with many that can’t. Yoga has opened my lungs, my mind, my hips. Yoga has made me grow strong. And if I could give you a gift for life I would love to give you this;

Sit straight or stand tall, close your eyes. Feel, feel your body, your feet, your hands, the air on your skin and breathe. Deep. Deeply, through your nose, till you fill your lungs. Exhale and let go of everything that is within you. Feel it release. Don’t hold back. Breathe again, nose, deep, fill your lungs and feel that joy. That life. That option to choose for you. Breathe. Breathe this way till you conquered all your fears, all your foolishness, and breathe this air full of life. Till the day that you die.

Music of Choice: Istvan SkyThe Butterfly Song

The Song of the Butterfly – Amazing message from the Sky

He talks about the secrets of the healing sounds like this: “The healing sound is born in a deep meditative state. Just sit in silence in nature. Let the ancient cosmic harmony probe deeply into your heart. Breathe slowly and listen to the songs of trees, plants and birds.

Breathe together with spring, be the unfolding flower, breathe together with summer, with the miracle of completeness.

Breathe together with autumn, with the passing of time and breathe together with the quiet stillness of winter. “

It’s just one bad day in a beautiful life

You don’t recover from a spinal cord injury. I don’t, apparently. Do not worry, I know how lucky I am to be alive, and I appreciate every moment for it. I’m lucky to not sit in a wheelchair. Most off all, I am lucky that I know how to deal with physical limitations. How to accept a lesser day and not let my mind control my thoughts. Still…

Some day you wake up and you feel:

“NOT TODAY!”

 

You have difficulty getting out of bed or difficulty getting your “engine” running. I have those days too. Those are not the days I’m talking about, but they get as close as it can get. I’m talking about days that I want to get out of bed but my legs feel like spaghetti. That my tailbone feels on fire, my sciatica burns, my head is banging and my energy is just enough to walk from my bed to a chair. Wobbly like a drunken sailor on a ship cleaving through a rough sea.

You won’t hear me say the word hate often, however I hate to be weak, to feel weak. To not have control what you’re about to do. And there isn’t much I can do about that either and that has been an internal struggle for sure. When you feel the earth moving, your legs shaking. Barely being able to stand on your legs for a minute straight while you insert a catheter and aim for the bowl…

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Google Search: Self Catherization

I have worked on myself to not let this get to me (as much) anymore. I take these days for what they are. A day to reflect. A day to write or to study. A day of (attempted) rest. To nothing. To feel, and intensely realize I’m human and be ok with being less for a day.

It doesn’t come as easy as it seems, I mean, these are the loneliest of days. These are the days that make you doubt what you are doing and for what? But what if I fight it? What will I gain by resisting if I can win another day?

On days like these you don’t seek answers. You won’t get, what you want to hear or want to feel. You just have to accept: not today. Whatever happens with this day, it’s not lost for I have lived. I have conquered. The pain, my mind, the doubts, the discomfort. I have conquered and tomorrow we shall conquer more but for now, let’s leave it for what is…

It is just a bad day in a beautiful life.

Music of Choice: R.E.M. – Everybody Hurts

When your day is long
And the night, the night is yours alone
When you’re sure you’ve had enough
Of this life, well hang on

Don’t let yourself go
‘Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone (Hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (Hold on)
If you think you’ve had too much
Of this life, well hang on

Pirate’s Wisdom; Extended

I know nothing. All I know is what I know and compared to what I don’t know that’s not much at all.

Every day I go out and discover the day. Every morning, every day. My Pirate Wisdom’s aren’t so much wise as they are a conversation with myself, to myself if you will. Sometimes it’s with the people that surround me, and the noises I hear. It is a discovery of my inner voice.

Words are easily spoken. They’re easier spoken than getting out of my bed early morning. When my muscles are stiff and my body can barely move. The first question that arises “Is today going to be OK, or are you going to be in pain?” It is easier than to learn what you are about to speak, to chose the pain. It’s too convenient to spit words out “I’m not OK.” So I speak from what I know and learn from what I’m about to share. It’s a fear and anxiety to be naked right in front of you. Still, with every post I recycle my words as I’ve done with my life. My lessons are a lesson to myself and I give you a look in how I fight. I can be OK, if I choose so…

I don’t know as much as it might seem. I doubt way more than you’ll hear. I share my fear but with the intend to find (more) strength. I conditioned myself to grow myself with my thoughts. As a teenager I did it the opposite way and saw myself as a poet that was created to be broken and so was my heart. I wrote about loss and misunderstanding. Missing pieces and the lack of love. But that life is no more. If I have the power to feel weak, I have to power to feel strong. So I set on a new path…

This path started from a hospital bed. Bored, lost and angry. It all started with some words on Twitter that I needed to vent. It invested itself on Instagram and than it took flight to Facebook. It wasn’t a Pirate’s Wisdom (yet), for it was just a man sharing his story, releasing himself from his struggle. As everything in life, if you water it, it will grow. So I grew it.  It grew into this, a blog and from there I took on a stage. The stages developed and brought Curaçao, Sint Maarten and Aruba on my path. It was never my intent.

I’m stubborn like that. I love like that. I give my all with passion. 

“It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all.” 

 So I share and I hope you will share with me.

Music of Choice: The Lumineers – Stubborn Love

It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all

The opposite of love’s indifference
So pay attention now, I’m standing on your porch screaming out
And I won’t leave until you come downstairs

So keep your head up, keep your love
Keep your head up, my love
Keep your head up, keep your love.

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