Where did all this work come from? Did I really call this upon myself?
From one day doing nothing, staring at a door that would only open when someone came in to feed me or change my diaper to one day sit and do a coaching session, one on one. Speaking at events for organizations. Sitting with the Prime Minister of Curaçao at the same table with all the other ministers. To the next day sorting plastic bottles and waste and afterwards talking to a 4 year old about how her day at school was and the next day having a board member meeting at our National Sports Institute. All in one week time…
I pinch myself. I knock on my own head, like to open a door, to see if it’s all real. I often ask “Who? Me?” This was not what I had in mind when I said, and dreamed, of creating change. I have grown beyond my comfort level and am still rising. I doubt if I should be doing what I am doing but then again, it feels all in place. It feels alright.
I have clients between 14 and 44, mostly female. They trust me. They expect me to be there for them in their hour of need and I sit calm and ask them what else I can help them with. I am humbled by a man who has A.L.S. (Lou Gehrig Disease) as he puts his trust in me to improve his breathing. I have NGO’s asking me to share my story and show how we can grow as a society, as human beings. I have people calling me that I should be calling, for their help and their support. It’s like the world inside out, or maybe it’s upside down. But it all feels right. I’m not worried. I’m not scared (yes I am, but no I’m not.)
I have no clue how I came to this. I collected cans and created an income from other people’s waste. Oh, wait… I connected. I learned. I observed. I planted seeds. And I got another chance to teach. That’s how I got here. I grew into it. I wished it, but it happened all naturally. First helping an aspiring Pilot to learn English. Than an artist to release herself, a painter to embrace his calling. A businessman asked how to deal with loss, how to love. I listened and asked and listened more till I saw them answer themselves. I dreamed to be of value, to help people open up and release their old habits. I was granted this honor and still I ask “Why?” as I see a young girl put her trust in me and spill her guts.
I listen because I want to learn. I listen because I want to educate. I’m a simple man. I don’t see myself as special but I see the “magic” being created when souls connect. I see a world where we are. supposedly, connected, but people are just overwhelmed with questions. The past is gone but left the scars behind for them to carry. All I can do is help them loosen the tissue that holds their pain tight. So I breathe. I breathe with them. They talk, I listen.
Where did all this work come from? From the past. And the future that I acknowledge.