Did I fail? It's been five years... It's been more than just that, years. But counting the years, one, two, three, four, five, is easier to explain and to grasp with so much that has happened and so much that... Continue Reading →
I am no saint, nor a hero. I’m far from perfect actually and I’m not afraid to confront myself.
We prefer to quote some mystic words than to bare our soul. We prefer to read the knowledge of the past than to discover the future for ourselves.
My life was a waste. For many years I was ruled by cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, sex, it was all so good but none of it brought me the life I desired. Insecurities, fear and anxiety destroyed hopes and dreams. "They" said I was "up to no good." I was a mess till I lost my life. I didn't die. I could still breathe, but everything else died in front of me...
The candles that melted, smoke that lingered and the wine that has accompanied the adolescents didn't bring much good. They were a whirlwind of emotions that I never understood. Why, was I thinking this? Why, was I feeling so much? Why, was I the only one?
“You got this!” I enforced on myself as I rammed my cain almost through the pavement waiting for the car to pass and I could cross the road of freedom.
With all this in mind, it hurts. I'm hurting. I feel I failed. I feel I've lost a some parts that I could have won. I know these are "just" human doubts, but still, let me share my thoughts.