“I see you. You are beautiful. To me. For me. You are everything that should be seen by this world full of make believe. You are real. You are loved. You are safe.”
I wish I could say I didn’t know better. I wish I had an excuse but all I could say would never take away my mistakes. However, I’m not going to stop there. I have a plan and I’ve been committing to it. I’m going to confess, I’m going to grow and I’m going to educate myself and all men and women, I can see or touch, around me.
I took the little bit of life that was left of me and I went to change it. I had to see everything with open eyes, open mind and a forgiving heart. I set on a new path of RECYCLING (my) LIFE!
I am no saint, nor a hero. I’m far from perfect actually and I’m not afraid to confront myself.
The candles that melted, smoke that lingered and the wine that has accompanied the adolescents didn't bring much good. They were a whirlwind of emotions that I never understood. Why, was I thinking this? Why, was I feeling so much? Why, was I the only one?
“You got this!” I enforced on myself as I rammed my cain almost through the pavement waiting for the car to pass and I could cross the road of freedom.
4 years ago I witnessed death in my arms and saw what fighting for your last breathe of air really was like. I had been on a dive with my girlfriend and we went too deep for too long. Too irresponsible. After an emergency ascent I saw her bloodshot eyes, her pale face and her blue lips as she was gasping for air.