I am no saint, nor a hero. I’m far from perfect actually and I’m not afraid to confront myself.
My life was a waste. For many years I was ruled by cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, sex, it was all so good but none of it brought me the life I desired. Insecurities, fear and anxiety destroyed hopes and dreams. "They" said I was "up to no good." I was a mess till I lost my life. I didn't die. I could still breathe, but everything else died in front of me...
The candles that melted, smoke that lingered and the wine that has accompanied the adolescents didn't bring much good. They were a whirlwind of emotions that I never understood. Why, was I thinking this? Why, was I feeling so much? Why, was I the only one?
“You got this!” I enforced on myself as I rammed my cain almost through the pavement waiting for the car to pass and I could cross the road of freedom.
Nobody can offend me, hurt me or touch me unless I let it happen. Nobody can make me happy, create a smile or make a success of my day unless I make or let it happen. I'm in balance to accept the bad and rule the good.
You don't recover from a spinal cord injury. I don't, apparently. No worries, I know I'm lucky to be alive. I'm lucky to not sit in a wheelchair. And most off all, I am lucky that I know how to deal with physical limitations. How to accept a lesser day and not let my mind control my thoughts Some day you wake up and you feel: "NOT TODAY!"